Unruly passengers might be the next global crisis. At least according to flight attendants, writes Emma Markezic.
Earlier this week, a Virgin flight from Los Angeles to London had to make an emergency landing after an intoxicated man tried to kick a window out mid-flight. The incident even resulted in injuries to an infant. Then last month, another man was so inebriated he urinated in his seat, after the flight had already been diverted to drop off a couple who were drinking and smoking mid-air. And back in February, a drunk woman was escorted off her Ryanair flight for being so verbally aggressive to both staff and other passengers that it resulted in her arrest.
Sooo… who needs a hug?
I think I might. Because this is very much not okay. But here’s something else I don’t love: this has all led the union representing American Airlines flight attendants to request they set a two-alcoholic drink limit per economy passenger, per flight. If implemented, it would be the first policy of its kind.
So what’s really to blame here? Pandemic fatigue? Inflight booze? The Slender Man?
I’m going to bet all those people above were largely high on their own supply. That is, from alcohol they purchased at airport bars or (in the case of the couple kicked off their flight) from duty free. So would limiting inflight drinks even make a dent in the problem? It feels a little like banning ham at a bacon festival.
And in fact, if that is the issue, why should flight attendants be wholly responsible for determining how much someone has had before boarding? While aviation laws the world over state an intoxicated person shouldn’t be allowed on a plane, anyone who’s seen a Harry Potter movie knows spotting a drunk isn’t always so easy.
Enforcing a limit wouldn’t be a totally bad idea, obviously, if it does prove to curb this epidemic of drunken and violent behaviour. For our part, I think many passengers would give up the free drinks if it meant our flight and luggage actually arrived on schedule. Maybe it should be a sliding scale? Flight on time: two drinks for you. Trip a hot mess: drink to excess.
I have a few questions about how this would all work in practice, too. Like, is a double gin and tonic one drink or two? Would a 17-hour flight be treated the same as a four-hour flight?
It seems to me this is all one big placebo and the real solution would be – oh, I don’t know – addressing the elephantine inequities in our society that leave people feeling so anxious, disenfranchised and impotent it causes them to drink to the extreme in the first place. But I’m possibly swerving out of my lane on that one.
As it stands right now, I’m going to add flight attendants to teachers and nurses on my growing list of people who should definitely be paid more for the garbage people they all seem to have to put up with on a daily basis.
Cheers to you, neglected demigods!
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